This week was a busy one! I played briefly a few times in the evenings to relax after long, tiring days. Honestly, I was well aware I was a work-a-holic, but having this project that forces me to do something not directly homework-related was hard to make myself play and enjoy it. It always felt that I should be doing the year plan, or the unit and lesson plans, or whatever else I had to get done. I found this rather interesting because I am used to practicing daily during my undergrad degree, and my lessons were a class I had to take, but even then I had some of that feeling, but less so. I know how important taking breaks are, but I will admit I am terrible at it. It is something I have to work on in the future so I do not accidentally work 80 hours or more a week with no breaks, because I see myself doing that already. I definitely put productivity above all else in my life, which I know is unhealthy. But it is part of being a musician, practicing feels like work and now that I am finished my music degree, that feeling has never faded. Hopefully, that feeling lessens over time, but it was something that continuously came up, that practice must make perfect, and that takes the enjoyment out of playing. But, learning and growth take time, and I still love music and playing but it takes time to shift my mindset and this inquiry project has started that.
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